Emptiness

Woke up this morning with a deep feeling of emptiness. No, it wasn't the fact that i hadn't eaten, nor was it my nose which was running like like a bloody tap (literally). As I got up, i tried to reflect on my dilemma, while getting ready to clean up. Then all of a sudden *drip*. It was coming from my nose, but it wasn't clear, it was a deep shade of maroon. My nose had started its usual irregular behaviour again, and I had to suffer the gruelling long nose bleeds that i often had in the past years. If I had no clogged it, it would've ran as much as a tap for about half an hour.

So as i pinched a tissue to my nose, I sat down to think. And then, it dawned on me...WHY i had felt this awkward bouts of doubt with my life. I, did not, have a single person here in Melbourne who could give me the affection I wanted. Even with my younger sister over every weekend, all she cared about was guys, shopping, and guys. I don't really see her that much, honestly, not even when she stays over at my place, since her boyfriend is always aound. Then there are...my friends. I'm not even sure f I should even call them my best friends, because we've slowly drifted apart once we got into uni. We don't see each other as often, or have even been catching up on gossips & such. I miss those times, and yes I know, I have to move on. But would u believe me if i said that i truly believe I have no true friend besides my so-called two best friends?

People at uni seem to have their own group of friends and i would always be an outsider to them. I feel cold, so lonely, and hard...coz noone has dared approach me and made me warm. I seek attention from others, hoping they'd give me the affections i need. But try as hard as I possibly could, some people just wanna bring me down. I dunno wat is it that i've done, but all i know is...the reason is becoz, i have noone to care for, and noone to care for me in return. I seriously believe, I can be truly nice to ANYONE as long as they approach me in a positive manner. =\ So why won't someone just give me a try?