Singledom

Single people tend to fall too fast into a relationship when being confronted by a new one, especially for those who haven't been in one for a long time. For me, i'm not sure...my friends say im picky, i can't make up my mind, or people dun like me coz im rough, im too short-tempered, too tall, too spoilt, too immature, too manipulative...but in truth is, i'm nothing like that IF i'm in a relationship, but noone dares to open up and look inside to find out the REAl me. They judge me by wat they kno of me, and conclude with a evaluation far from the truth.

Sure, i play hard to get...i do it ALL the time, but only because i'm not sure whether the person's feelings for me is genuine, and i dunt wanna be hurt if i fall too deep. And for me, falling for someone has to be perfect in every way - the right person in the right place at the right time:~ the rite moment. People call me silly, but i DO believe in fairy tales & fantasies...I have wished that maybe one day my prince charming will come sweep me off my feet. But a big part of me knows that this will never happen coz there's no such thing as dream come trues - having my cake and being able to eat it too. My parents mock at my beliefs of becoming a princess even at this age, and ridicule about my love of barbie dolls still at the age of 14 [i'd only stopped playing barbie dolls when i moved out 100,000 miles away from home].

I realise wat im living now is a reality; having to cook, clean, pay bills...not having the comfort of a warm household; parents nagging, sisters to play with, friends to hang out & fun. Those were once my loving memories don't exist anymore, and i drown myself in my pool of mixed emotions - anger, confusion, hatred, loneliness and, the need to be loved by all.

In the past, I have been hurt before...by guys who dun appreciate me, use me, and throw me. I dunt trust anyone nemore. I only believe when i see it happen...that's why i have a great dislike for liars. And for me, I dun believe in loving someone if my heart has not grown fond enough for them because, my heart is slowly freezing up. I cannot offer to that person what someone else might, and I will never be able to love them as i should...

Instead of making a mistake with me, I have stated my real being, not my cruel intentions of spoiling ur chances of being (more than) friends with me. I'm only a great person if u can see past my flaws, and not expect too much from me.

Have a nice nite pplz. =}