Dying...such a funny little thing

You think I'm mad [as in angry, not crazy -_-]? Well, hell yea I should be. But I also know that once i vent out my anger here on my blog, i feel so much betta and my burden lifted off my shoulders. If only people took me seriously and knew that what i said was true - that these words came from the top of my head, down to the insides of my heart and expressed in its own way. They might possibly know me a little bit betta than what they think they know. I'm not a bad person :( but I tend to be cold to those who I think might try to take advantage of me, or try bring out the worst in me. I am only looking out for myself, protecting myself from making the same mistakes over again. I didn't meant it all to be this way, but my old friends have mentioned how much my overall wellbeing + attitude has improved. I'm more calm & collected in tensed arguments and I do more listening than talking, and i've been significantly quieter in discussion than i used to be. Soft-spoken I probably am not, but respecting/well-mannered and shy I am, so I tend to be very timid in class. There's so many more reasons why I am the way I am now...but it's always about experiences & the moulding of my natural environment. I think it's probably due to becoming more 'mature' since i've reached the big 2-0, but in my mind i'm still a child who still has a love for candy & anything cute + pretty. The only things that's really changed is probably my physical features [going fatter now -_-] and probably my knowledge of the world, everything still comes intact and un-ageing since 6th grade. There's still the constant tomboyish hype in me that seldom happens only if u try to stir up shit [especially Vuong...just coz i teased u about Yukiii :p]. But yea...i'd prefer to say I've not aged since a long time back...I'm still the same old me, with more controlled feelings & behaviour [no pills involved! Though I used to think I have ADD, I might still do, but not that obvious]

Speaking of illnesses, I'm just gonna list some of the things that I could/might have...
I used to [and some I still do] suffer from:

• Asthma
• Sinus
• Thin nose cartillage [constant bleeding for approx 2 hours each day]
• Eczema

I think I also used to suffer from:

• ADD [attention deficit disorder]
• Mild Amnesia

I think I'm gonna be likely to suffer/die of:

• Cancer [too much instant noodles, monitor/cell phone radiation]
• Diabetes [too much sweets!]

Oh well....that's why I'm kinda trying to live my life to the fullest as of this moment.

"When I was here I tried to give u all I had, but u turned me away...now that i'm gone, ur asking for everything i can never give u." Ironic, isn't it?