FK LIFE!

U know...i thought my life was going pretty breezy, until today. My dad had to ruin everything. He telling me how i should rent out our car space to someone ASAP, coz my sister's allowance depended on it. So i said i needed my sister here to help me, which is fair. And he gives me a lecture about profit and loss and how if i dont rent it out soon, we're like losing profit. I said I know, just that i dont understand why I'm the one who has to keep doing all the work around here (and plus the fact that i haven't received my allowance from my parents yet either!) And was just describing how i'd successfully rented out our car space last year all with no help from my sister, while she just comes up every month to collect her allowance, which i so hardworkingly chased off the renter. And he had to fkn compare what he'd done for me? It's different, u know! Just different....i bet he doesn't even understand my situation to even start comparing me! It's so obvious he's just spoiling my sister. Then it got me thinking: why was I ever the one to be rushed and forced into doing things for other people? Was this meant to be the way I'm supposed to live as? A servant? For my family? What? And then I started to think of other things where I had been slaved off to work under my parents' scrutiny and for whom? Yea, my sisters.

How come I'm the one who has to work to get my sister her allowance? How come I was the only person who got their allowance cut, just so I'd go look for a job anywhere? How come I've been assigned to clean out my sister's filthy grotty toilet, after she's moved out? And the only person to suffer under my sister's wrath when she becomes like a pig and expects me to clean her dishes and throw her garbage? And that now I have to live under the same roof with cockroaches which she fkn planted?! Or, how come I'm the only one who got skitzed at for 'taking the easy subjects' in VCE (which by the way, is not the reason why I took them...but the reason because I was largely interested in them. U'd think that if my sisters took Psych or Info Systems, they'd find it easy too? Hah! Tough luck!)

I hate my life. It's like I'm Cinderella with her evil step-parents and step-sisters, although minus the prince and the fairy godmother. Bascially, i've got it worst than Cinderella did. I wanted to disown my mum beacuase she blows her top like every 5 minutes AT ME for no fkn reason! And i know i wouldn't succeed surviving with my dad either coz we're not that close to each other. If u think about it, I have noone, nowhere to go...nothing. I don't get why people say they're depressed and that they wanna die. I'm sure if they felt how i felt, they'd wanna die even more so. I just wish my life was over, and then I'd see how they could ever survive without me. Maybe they'd be happier? Just maybe that's their plan to destroy me. And I'm only this close to self-destruct.