Friends? Pfft...what's that?

U know, I think this depression isn't psychological. It isn't something that I'm imagining but realli isn't there. Coz right now, I know for sure, it is real. I'm depressed because I'm affected by everyone around me. They probably don't realise it, but they hurt me unconsciously. I don't even kno why I even put up with all this shit. Seriously.

They say they're my friends but what could be worse is that they're freinds who are unreliable. That's one thing I've noticed about the people who claim to be my friends. Makes me wanna just tell them to go "BUZZ OFF" and crawl back into my small dark hole. I mean, where were they when i needed them? Too busy for me, most probably. Couldn't even make the effort to come out for lunch with me when I invited them. Like seriously...they can't even accept my gesture of gratitude. If u can't, so be it. Give up this 'friendship' coz obviously, i'm not good enough to let me treat u. I'd probably wouldn't have realised this if my mum hadn't brought it up. Of course, I've been telling her stories about how great these people I call my friends were. But on the day I'd invited them out, barely anyone makes it, and she had to ask "where're those people who u call ur friends? too busy for u? or maybe these people are just ur imgination?"...maybe it's only my imgination. These 'friends' are just a fragment of my creative mind, building this fairy tale that noone can see. I'm perhaps an insane loner, who has a tendency of random sudden outbursts in public. So leave me be.